Eulogy

John Carl Larson

Eulogy

by Benjamin Larson, Rebecca Barnard, and Kathy Gardner

I recognize how tacky it is to bring a laptop to the podium. I apologize, but this was kind of a work in progress.

With the exception of the average age of those in attendance, this could be a 41st Ward or Paradise Lane Ward mission farewell. The Larsons are seated on the front row, where we always sat.

Dan Pennell once said, “It’s too bad that he read that talk, because it was a good one, and no one heard it.” I have never read a talk before, but today, I have to make an exception.

Oh, John. How I wish I didn’t have to do this today.

I need to start by thanking everyone who is here as well as many who aren’t for the outpouring of love, support, and compassion that has taken place over the last week. You need to know that the prayers have helped, as evidenced by our family feeling some great peace. In a time like this, that can not be classified as anything but a miracle.

I know that his immediate family are not the only ones who are mourning. I wish the Lord’s blessings upon each of you, who could also use some comfort at this time. May the Holy Ghost be upon you and may you feel peace.

This mortality is an interesting thing. It really is short in comparison to the time we lived with our Heavenly Father prior to our arrival and short compared to the eternities that we will yet live. Everyone we know had to enter this Earthly sojourn through birth, and every single person we know has to exit this mortality through death: friends, moms, dads, grandparents, aunts, sisters, spouses, P.E. coaches, bishops, uncles, and brothers. We would just prefer if they would have the decency to wait until we’ve died to make their own departure.

I have often said that we need eulogize people while they are still alive. It’s such a shame that the celebration of our lives comes too late for it to be of much use to the departed subject of the eulogy.

I suppose, then, that these memories are for us to heal mourning hearts and to give focus to wandering minds.

I’d like to focus on what made John, John. I need to start by saying that I am the least qualified of my siblings to do this. Those who were more qualified knew their emotions would be too strong to be able to do this. So with much help from many sources, but primarily from Kathy and Becky, I’d like you to remember with me some uniquely John memories.

Happiness/Silliness - And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.

John was always happy and silly. I’ve recently learned about his and Gary’s dream to buy a garbage truck and live in Mexico. They were apparently pretty convinced that they could make a fortune, and this dream of being garbage men lasted a good 3 years. Becky claims that he would say it just to get a rise out of people, but Dave thinks that there was at least some sincere truth to the dream.

Apparently, according to Laficia and Batha-tub, John would always give nicknames to everyone. It was sort of a rite of passage, and if John gave you a nickname, you were “officially” his friend.
He was king of joking, smiling, and making others feel happy—sometimes through some pretty unique means. At nights, after it was too late to be making noise in the house, John and Gary and any other friends that were over would go outside and sit in the back of a truck. Gary would play the guitar, and John would sing. They had a band named “Raging Vomit”, which according to Gary, “is pretty much what our music sounded like.” On the slideshow that’s playing outside, we’ve included two original tracks from their CD that they recorded. It’s fun to hear their musical interpretation of “It’s Hot” by Shel Silverstein. Kathy also sang one to me last night that was all about how she’d be rejected by many more boys after Scott Schloffman.

There was also the time that Gary and John wanted to flirt with the girls in YW. The YW leaders said that no one could be in there that wasn’t wearing a dress. The next week, they both showed up wearing dresses. The YW leaders welcomed them to stay for the whole class.
Sometimes John would have a hard time being serious about things. You’d know he’d have to be hurting inside or feeling down, but when you asked him how he was feeling, he’d say something like, “don’t hate me ‘cause I’m black.” He could make any situation lighter. It was a real talent of his.

From Felicia Forbes, “When John was around, how could you help but smile!?”

Service - And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn awisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the bservice of your cfellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

John James said, “John always tried to please everyone and did everything he could to help out. He always had a helping hand and did the best he could.” Everyone who knew John knew that he would do anything for anyone. He truly put others before himself. I can’t fit all of the stories
I received about this here, but I’ve chosen just a couple samples:

From Kathy: My mom was out running errands for longer than expected and I had been invited to Leslie's. But as a 3rd or 4th grader it seemed way too far to walk and I wasn't allowed to cross Greenway Rd. I was so sad, so John volunteered to carry me. He took me on piggy back all the way there, which is amazing because I was nearly his same size, but he wouldn't give up or put me down. That is the essence of John, always carrying others burdens no matter how much they weighed.

From Becky: John would take care of me. I remember countless times that he took the blame for me. One specific time, I took some of the cookies Mom had made for visiting teaching. Mom was mad because baking cookies without burning them while taking care of eight kids was quite the task. She lined all us kids up and told us we couldn’t leave until we told her who did it. The older kids were getting mad because no one would fess up, and they had places to go. John knew I took the cookies, but he told my mom he did it so I wouldn’t get in trouble and the older kids could go.

John didn’t always have the best judgment when it came to his service. There was the time that he missed a test that was worth a third of his grade to help someone move. Or another time, though he was in debt, he lent a friend a significant amount of money because he needed it. He didn’t always think through the effects that his service had on his long-term future, but if someone was in need, John would be helping.

Dave told me last night that he used to always tell John, “John, When someone asks me, ‘Can I have your shirt?’ I ask, ‘why?’ When someone asks you, ‘Can I have your shirt?’ you start taking yours off.”

Determination/Focus - let your diligence, and your perseverance, and patience, and your works be redoubled, and you shall in nowise lose your reward, saith the Lord of Hosts

I worked with John two summers in Alaska. I remember jumping inside of the ice-house with him and shoveling ice into totes. I never liked to be outdone by someone on a job, but I could never keep up with him. It was his ability to work hard and quickly that the foreman always made John the fish-header in the processing plant. The header is the first position in the line, and he sets the pace.

Kathy: Sand Sculptures on the Beach John was very creative and wouldn't just do the regular old sand castle. When John makes something, it is going to be awesome! On vacations he made the most amazing dolphins and turtles out of sand. He'd spend hours on them, long after the rest of us had given up, he was still working hard. I was always jealous of how good they were.

Becky: When John was determined to do something he did it. Whether it was jumping a picnic table on rollerblades, kissing 10 girls in one day, or marrying the girl he fell in love with before he had to go back to Texas, he made it happen. One time when we were kids, he was determined to ride the sit and spin longer and faster than all of us kids in the Wendt’s back yard. We all took our turns. Then John got on. He went so fast and so long. He beat us all by a long shot. We were all amazed. He stood up proud, smiled, and then turned around and puked his guts up. I learned then that it didn’t matter what it took, if John wanted to do something, he did it.
Even in the last act of his life, he demonstrated determination to what he believed needed to be done without regard to consequence.

Loyalty to his friends, family, and perfect strangers - Or what man is there of you, who, if his son ask bread, will give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

John always rooted for the underdog. The more society seemed to be against a person, the more he would believe in them. Many of his friends would tell you that John was a difference-maker in their lives. They were getting a different message about themselves from most other sources. John saw in them the very best, and recognized that everyone has weaknesses, but that what we need most is someone who believes we are great.

To Kathy’s question about what teachers like her could do to help students like John, he responded, "You've got to believe they are great and help them to see that. They will become what you believe they are. Don't call on kids that aren't paying attention and ask what you just said. I hated that. It didn't make me want to listen. It made me embarrassed and angry. You should build them up, not push them down. Most importantly you have to give them hope. If they are failing and there is no way left to pass or succeed then of course they'll give up. Just help them have hope."

That really is the way he saw people. The less other people were seeing the good in a person, the more John wanted to.

Becky: John had a way with people. He could make anyone smile, and within five minutes of talking to John a stranger felt like John was there long lost best friend. One time, we were staying at a beach house in Mexico. We were down at the beach. The guy at neighboring house was down there too. I said hi. He just looked at me like with this grumpy look. I thought he was scary. John started talking to him. In two minutes they were laughing together. He ended up being real nice. John was that way. He brought out the best in people. He made them feel good about themselves. I was jealous of his ability to see people for the good in them, and how he could bring it out.

Becky: Another example of John’s ability to make friends easily with people is when John came to visit me in Tucson. He took my kids and his to the zoo. I had always wanted to feed the Giraffes at the zoo, but I was never there in time. I would ask a zoo keeper if there was any way we could feed them. They would tell me, “If you come at the right time, you can.” Well when John started talking to one of the zoo keepers, the guy was instantly a friend to him. He took John not only to feed the Giraffe, but into the Giraffe enclosure where the zoo keepers feed them. He worked magic with people.

Most recently that loyalty was demonstrated in the Army. As I poured over all the posts and memories of his comrades, it first struck me how they all called him, “brother.” I truly believe that they felt that kind of a relationship with them.

From -1SG Torry Rice: How do you thank a guy that has done so many great things for his country and his brothers around him? Larson was the most unselfish human being I have ever had the privilege to meet. There were times when will literally go out of his way to take care of his fellow brothers. ... Larson was a man with no vices and I could always depend on him to do what was right. John, it was my privilege to have known you, and I know that I will never meet a human being quite the same as you, my friend. Thanks to your family for allowing you to serve with us. Hopefully, your kindness, unselfishness and love for your country will echo throughout Bulldog Company.

In the end, it is this loyalty, mixed with the lack of longer-term judgment that proved to be a fatal flaw, in addition to a phenomenal strength.

Fearless - Yea, behold I do not fear your power nor your authority, but it is my God whom I fear;

Kathy: One day my dad got a phone call from John. He needed us to come pick him up and take him to the hospital. Like I said before, he was so talented on rollerblades (at The Wedge he could jump tables and trash cans) But at Charles Wilcox’s house he had tried to jump the tennis net. I remember sitting next to him in one of my dad’s company trucks looking at the huge opening in his chin gushing with blood as he said, "I almost cleared it... I was so close. I just hesitated!" John never feared pain or accidents... he thrived on the adrenaline of it all.

Kathy: One day in high school the white kids decided to have a riot and beat up all the Mexican kids at school. (Now, either there were two fights, or the details aren’s really clear because Becky remembers the fight being between the Mexican kids and the Filipino kids.) Anyway, John was in the heart of the battle, not fighting but saving kids, one by one. He fought like a lion pulling kids to safety, trying to save as many as he could. Becky remembers seeing kids flying out of the circle, and when she made her way inside, she saw that it was John pulling them off of each other and throwing them out.

Last night we talked about cliff jumping in Alaska. My Carlson cousins who are here will know about the cliff jumping off the cliffs. It’s really cool because you can jump off this 70 foot cliff and go about halfway down, and then as you hit the sand, it just smoothly and gradually slows you down. Well, John wanted to make it farther than anyone else. He jumped as far as he could, and was determined to make it all the way down. The problem is…if you don’t hit the sand cliff face, you’re really just jumping off a 70 foot cliff! John made it, and though undiagnosed, I think he broke his tailbone.

Protector

Going right along with fearless, there were many stories of John being a protector.
Becky: One time I wanted to be in a ninja club with him and my older siblings. John voted me to be in it, but the majority voted me out. I didn’t get to be in it. I was so sad. John comforted me and always would remind me that he wished I could go with him into the secret meetings in Ben’s room.

Kathy: John has threatened boys in my behalf for over a decade. When we both were attending BYU he nearly beat up a boy that would come by all the time and look in the girls windows in our complex. Lets just say the boy never dared peep in windows again. When James asked to marry me he talked to John and John threatened to kill him over 10 times if he ever hurt me. Sometimes he was a little over the top, but he truly protected his sisters!

Megan: “We were in the zoo and daddy was holding me and there was a horse that we were petting. Well, it was mean horse and it was about to bite me. But daddy pretected me! He put out his arm in front of me, not the arm he was holding me with, but his other arm, and the horse bit daddy instead.”

Father

KristiKay: Overall, if you were to ask Megan, she would say that what she loved most about her dad was that he was “super fun”. She already misses how he “would let me eat candy, stay up until midnight and then sleep with me at night”. John always knew just how to spoil his kids! He absolutely loved to shower them with gifts. And when John gave a gift, it was never half-done. John would take Megan out to eat for daddy-daughter time to the Melting Pot, he bought Josh a cool new bike with a custom blue-flame paint job… because just an ordinary run-of-the-mill bike would NOT do. He one weekend took Megan and Josh to McDonalds for EVERY meal because Megan liked the plush toy from the Happy Meal. She came home with about 30 miniature animals!!! They just kept going back until they got EVERY one that McDonald’s had to offer! He loved doing things like that for the kids. There was no limit as to what he would do or buy for the kids. He loved making them smile. He loved being their protector, their playmate and their friend.

Husband

Lila: John was the love if my life. Not a day went by that he didn’t make me laugh. We would drive to various places and it didn’t matter what type of music was on the radio because he had a dance move for every song. John not only put a smile on my face, but he made my heart smile. He was such a thoughtful and loving husband. Every morning he greeted me with a big smile, an enormous hug, and a gentle kiss. He told me every day how lucky he was to have me as his wife, but the truth is that I was the lucky one.

Love - This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

I believe that the all-encompassing character trait that best defines John is love. It was that love of all mankind that drove him to have true compassion for others.

CPT Shane Aguero: “As you know, John was an good man and an exceptional soldier. Those who served with him always describe his as forthright, honest, and very hard working. There was nothing that he would not do for another soldier. Not only was he a genuinely good natured and sympathetic man, he was also filled with a true desire to do the right thing. I have rarely encountered such a combination of noteworthy traits in one man. He was always smiling and ready with a sympathetic ear or a kind word to anyone who was feeling down and out.

It is important that you know John loved being a soldier and those he served with. He was one of the most well regarded members of the Company and the Battalion.”

Those who are here are here because they were loved by John. He loved without expecting anything in return.

Website

I can’t possibly share all of the experiences that have been received about John. We have created a blog called, “Remembering John.” Many people have asked if there is anything they can do. There is one thing that you could do that would mean a lot to us: if you have time, we would appreciate any memories, pictures, etc. that you could post there. Please write down this address: http://johncarllarson.blogspot.com. We’ll make sure that we put all of the slideshows, memoirs, eulogy, history, etc. on the site.

I want to share my testimony about the Savior, Jesus Christ. As a bishop, I have the opportunity to help people to see the “big picture” on almost a daily basis. We talk of their eternal nature and about the eternities. I know that we are here for a short time, and that our existence does not end with death.

I am thankful for Jesus Christ because he made it possible. “For as in Adam all men die, even so in Christ shall all men be made alive.”

As Paul said, “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”

I testify that my Redeemer and John’s and everyone’s Redeemer, Jesus Christ has removed the sting of death and has conquered the grave, and death is not the end for John or any of us.

But for now, goodbye my dear brother.